Friends, we all have struggles, difficulties, problems, hardships, in life. All of us do. One time I was informed by a friend that “If I had everything handed to me on a silver platter like you did then I would be just fine, too.” But the reality is that money does not make any difference at all. Whether you have a lot or a little you will have problems.
This blog will be focused on answers, solutions, hope, ideas, brainstorming and more for these are the qualities, traits, habits of the people I admire and want to be more like.
Many years ago, I was a young pregnant woman looking for role models. I knew I had made mistakes in my life and wanted to live a happier, more fulfilling life from here on out. I found some wonderful mentors (Jean and Carolyn) who took me under their wings and did their best to influence my life. They shared their many life lessons, skills and hope for a bright future for me.
When I moved to Maryland, another woman (Millie) took our family in as a family members and loved us equally. She’d chastise me if she thought I was on the wrong track or praise me when she approved. She showered me with love through it all of life’s struggles without judgment.
As an older woman now, I see the younger generation being eaten up emotionally. They are unprepared for the everyday struggles of Money problems, Relationship difficulties, Job insecurity, Health issues and the like. It is hurting their relationships, threatening their jobs, ruining their health and more.
How can a person prepare for struggles and develop strength?
Some struggles are of our own making.
These are areas we all have and the only way out of them is to change. Whether we must keep the checkbook in check, or work faster at our job, perhaps we need to practice forgiveness or compromise more. You know what you need to do; we all do.
Sometimes we are procrastinating, we intend to but don’t want to so we procrastinate. This is me with laundry. Ugh! Just get up and get it done. It isn’t going anywhere. Honestly! You and you alone must do what must be done. When you do you get that sense of accomplishment and it feels wonderful!
Set a timer if you need to and race yourself; it likely won’t take as long you thought. Balancing a checkbook or unloading the dishwasher don’t take but ten minutes if done daily. Give yourself a treat when you are done like a glass of tea or hot chocolate.
Perhaps it is unforgiveness, anger, resentment, or fear that is your struggle. Many years ago, I learned that these emotions will eat you up inside. Literally. For some it is stomach troubles, others have backaches, many get headaches or shoulder pain but for some it is even worse; they get cancer. Yes, you can stuff these emotions so much you make yourself that sick.
It is essential to deal with and let go of these emotions. They rarely have any benefit for you or others. Let it go. No, you won’t forget but there is no benefit to dwelling on it either. Let it go. When it pops back in tell yourself, “Self, I am not going to dwell on this! I am too important to let this issue control me, my emotions or my behavior.” Take a deep breath and move on.
It has always been very beneficial to me when I was able to look at a situation through the eyes of the other person. Lets say someone stole from me. They didn’t do it to hurt me. They were in self -preservation mode; their fear level was so high that they couldn’t see beyond their need. Perhaps they even thought things like, “she has so much; she doesn’t need it anyway.” Yes, it is stealing. Yes, I noticed. Yes, I will forgive. No, I will not trust them. But I do not need to roll it around in my mind over and over, hate them or passive aggressively try to get them back.
Letting it go, forgiving, and the like is for YOUR BENEFIT much more so than the other persons. You don’t have to carry that baggage around anymore.
Some struggles are out of our control.
Let it go. It is a famous saying this year after the Frozen movie but regardless of your feelings for Disney, it works. Sometimes, you just have to accept that you can’t change the situation, you just have to get through it. You can pray that God helps you let it go. You can walk it off.
You are not going to change your spouse or boss. Stop trying. Let them be themselves and love them anyway. This took years to realize that any imperfections my husband had were between him and God. I wasn’t even in the picture though I was affected sometimes.
Some struggles have nothing to do with us.
Get out of there! This is especially a problem with family members. We butt our noses in and give our 2 cents. It is none of our business.
A friend pointed out recently we should not “steal someone’s struggle”. This was a profound idea for me. When someone has a need and we are quick to fill it we have taken their struggle. When we clean up the toys for the kids instead of teaching them how and allowing them to so it imperfectly. I see myself acting as judge between the kids and not letting them work it out how to be good friends. This could also happen if you are continuously lending money to a broke friend, they aren’t benefiting from the need and therefore being motivated to do something about it.